Sickness and Cuteness Shouldn't Be Able To Mix
by anxious.soul
Summary: In which Thor is the only one who wants to look after Tony gets hit by a flu-like illness. AKA Tony is ill and surprisingly not a whiney pain in the neck. Canon Divergence.


**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers or Marvel.**

 **This is based on a request from DCJoKeRHS (on AO3): "can we possibly have more sick Tony? He sounds like he goes ultra cute, cuddly and precious when having a cold/fever!" Along with the more detailed version: "Tony's doing a conference or smn outdoors, then Spidey's like "HEADS UP!" And Tony starts having his suit activate to help but because it isn't fast enough he still gets a face full of perpetual-flu-gas, so he flops and Rhodey and Pep (who are also there, 'cause when are they never X'D) are like "Well fuck" as Spidey finally nabs da meany. So whilst Bruce and Petey try to come up with something to cure Tony, the other Avengers are like "Oh boy" 'cause they think Tony'll turn into a little shit... Thor (who always has too much faith in his friends) is like "I'm a god, I'll help look after him", so sits by Tony... Then, when Tony falls asleep, can't get up. Which kinda shows the others that, nope, he's a sleepy, cuddly boi. Then Peter keeps showin' up and neglecting himself 'cause he feels the gas thing is his fault** ,, **and Tony (who is half asleep) notices and Dads-Out like "Noo! My Son is gunna cuddle with me 'cause You Need Sleep!" (Nat mebe has parts recorded for future blackmail...)"**

 **Crossposted on AO3**

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Something was wrong. Something was about to happen. Peter looked around from where he was perched in the shadows as his father figure Tony continued to speak at the conference. His eyes latched onto a shady looking figure at the back of the room.

"Shooter! Everyone down!" Spider-Man shouted, his voice carried over the reporters and Tony hastily activated JARVIS but it was too late. A deafening bang echoed through the room, silencing everyone. Eyes darted around before stopping on a still Tony, who reached up to the side of his neck and pulled out the tranquiliser-looking-dart. Peter rushed over to Tony, swinging down from the rafters as the rest of the Avengers gathered along with Pepper and Rhodey. Tony smirked at them all as if to say he was fine before his eyes rolled back and he collapsed into Rhodey, who had hastily reached out for his best friend.

"Shit." Almost everyone muttered as they stared at the unconscious man and for once, Steve didn't care about the swearing. Pepper was already on the phone as Rhodey assisted the police in restraining the shooter.

 **—LINE BREAK—**

"Right." Bruce stated gaining everyone's attention from where he stood in the doorway of the communal living area in Avengers Tower, "From what I can tell, Tony's got some kind of perpetual flu with some additional symptoms-"

"Perpetual as in-"

"Neverending. Please don't interrupt." Bruce said interrupting Clint, who had interrupted him, "He will most likely be achy everywhere, feel exhausted -more so than usual and you will have to make sure he sleeps, have a sore throat from coughing. Headaches, stomach pain, nausea and loss of appetite -again Tony doesn't eat well anyway, but you will have to make sure he gets some food, I recommend soup. Now, this part is even more important. I want someone with Tony at all times. He should not be left alone because knowing that stubborn moron, he'd try to get down to the workshop and fall and hurt himself. So someone will have to be there making sure he gets plenty of water and at least _some_ food in his system. Understood? Good. Myself along with Mr Parker will be in the lab. We need to recreate what's left in this," Bruce held up a bag that contained the dart that had hit Tony, "and try and create a cure for Tony." With that said he asked Thor to come down to the lab with him and carry the ill man back to the living room. The god complied with no complaints.

 **—LINE BREAK—**

"Oh my God, we have to babysit Stark? That's going to be hell!" Whined Clint as he collapsed pitifully onto the sofa, "Bet he's going to be a pain in the neck."

"Most likely," Natasha responded looking equally annoyed about it,

"He can't be that bad…" Steve murmured hopefully despite clearly not believing the words he spoke.

"The guy was a maniac two years ago when he was dying!" Clint exclaimed despite the information being classified,

"Wait? Tony was dying?"

"It's classified, Steve." At Natasha's tone, he let the thought vanish from his mind.

Thor came back up with a glassy-eyed Tony, gently placing the brown-haired man on the sofa, they watched as he instantly snuggled into the blond's side,

"So…who's going to watch him?" Clint asked breaking the silence, "'Cause I'm not."

"Neither." Steve looked at the others and despite clearly not wanting to watch Tony, he would offer if no one else wanted to.

"I shall look after Anthony!" Exclaimed Thor and causing the Super Soldier to relax in relief. "Eye of Hawk, pass me the blanket, please." Thor set to wrapping Tony up like a burrito in order to warm the shivering man up, before sitting next to the man with an arm around him.

The group watched a movie, sniffles and coughs breaking the tension ever so slightly as the movie played. Each member (except Thor and Tony) kept sneaking glances at the pair. Halfway through the film, Tony had manoeuvred himself into laying across Thor's lap, the god was also running a hand through the slightly sweaty locks. It was rather peaceful. It was also terrifyingly domestic and not what the others expected.

Before the movie had finished a loud snore washed over them, blanketing the quiet snores and heavy breathing Tony had been producing due to the sickness. Turning with bewildered eyes, they saw that Thor had fallen asleep spooning Tony. It was disgustingly adorable.

 **—LINE BREAK—**

Wandering into the living room the next day, the group found Thor attempting and failing to make something for Tony, who was rubbing at his eyes.

"Whatcha' doing, Thor?" Clint asked,

"I am making nourishment for Anthony!"

"…you've managed to burn water…how?" Steve muttered as he looked in the bowl on the stove,

"Alright, how about I make it for him?"

"I would be indebted to you, Eye of Hawk!"

The soup was made and the group sat around the couch with Tony. The ill man lifted up a spoon full of soup and his trembling hands knocked the liquid back into the bowl. He mewled like a cat in sadness, oblivious to the looks he was getting.

"Anthony, allow me." Thor murmured setting his own food down before feeding the man until he said he felt sick.

"Stop poking me before you lose your fingers," Natasha growled as Clint went to poke her for the millionth time,

"I want one." Is all he said as he stared at Tony with awe and adoration in his eyes. The ill genius was too cute for his own good. "I really really want one." The redhead smacked him.

"You can't afford me…" Tony whispered hoarsely as he stared at Clint with squinted eyes as if trying to work out who he was looking at, "Bird." At the name/insult, the archer squawked…like a bird.

 **—LINE BREAK—**

Since seeing that Tony wasn't annoying or whiney, the others decided that whilst everyone should help with Tony, one member of the team would be 'allocated' to watching him each day. Bruce and Peter kept themselves busy with searching for a cure, though the teenager did make some appearances. But he never made himself known to his mentor. He felt bad about what happened. Especially now as he watched Tony vomit up the little food he had eaten along with a lot of water.

"Spider son."

"What?" Startled most of the Avengers including Peter who had been hiding, though now he stepped out and was pulled over to Tony, who -for lack of better descriptions- looked like he was on his deathbed.

"Son man…no…Spidey boy…what…" The genius murmured hoarsely with bleary cinnamon eyes, "You need to look…after yourself. Not your fault. Sleep. Kiddo needs sleep." Painfully Tony moved his arms out in the universal hug gesture. "Cuddle." Despite being half asleep, Tony could still do his puppy eyes and gently Peter fell into his arms. They were both out like a light within seconds.

"Thanks, dad." He whispered seconds before.

 **—LINE BREAK—**

"I've got it. I've managed to create the cure!" Bruce exclaimed exhaustedly as he entered the living area,

"Awe. Do we have to cure him? He's so cute and kitten-like!" Bruce's eyes narrowed and he pushed his glasses up,

"I have spent the past week working myself into an early grave and you want him to stay like this. Clinton, do you have any idea what would happen if we didn't do anything?" The man shook his head with wide eyes, Bruce was clearly angry yet there wasn't a tinge of green on him, "If Tony were to stay in this condition, not only would it be unfair to him, we would also be condemning him to a slow and agonising death."

"Wait he's been dying?" Steve shouted causing Tony to whimper at the sounds,

"Not exactly but if prolonged it would have consequences." Sighed Bruce before he left with Thor carrying Tony once again.

 **—LINE BREAK—**

Not much was said after that. Tony was cured and everyone went back to normal. Most of the last week confused Tony because he couldn't quite remember anything. The others too didn't mention much about it, save for Clint, who couldn't stop going on about how cute Tony was. Of course, Natasha also had something's to say, such as she had JARVIS send her all of the footage he had recorded amongst her own recordings. Thus to say Tony wasn't impressed with all the blackmail.

"Wait a minute!" Tony shouted standing up from where he sat one evening, "Did I call Peter 'son'?"

"Yes, you did." Nat grinned and showing him her phone, "He also called you dad." The video played and there was no denying it. Several days passed and neither Tony nor Peter could look each other in the eye.

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 **Anyway,**  
 **Thank you for reading,**  
 **Hope you enjoyed this,**  
 **Please review,**  
 **No hate -don't like, don't read**

 **Bye~**


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